


With a Drop of Blood You Will Take Them Out for Me

by pickleplum



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: AU: Pitfall Fails, Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:51:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickleplum/pseuds/pickleplum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tendo Choi is the first to speak. “Gipsy Danger. Signal lost,” he intones, subdued.</p><p>New Marshal Hansen swallows hard and fights to control his voice as he says “Reset the clock.” More quietly he adds “Send a chopper for the pod.”</p><p>Herc squares his shoulders and turns to leave LOCCENT with Max padding at his heels. “Senior staff. My office. Twenty minutes. I need options.” He’s surprised at how confident and commanding he sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hansen

Gipsy Danger drags Slattern back into the Breach. Mori ejects. Becket starts the self-destruct sequence. 

But then… nothing. 

The Breach remains, a scar in Challenger Deep. 

There’s no second escape pod.

Tendo Choi is the first to speak. “Gipsy Danger. Signal lost,” he intones, subdued.

New Marshal Hansen swallows hard and fights to control his voice as he says “Reset the clock.” More quietly he adds “Send a chopper for the pod.”

Herc squares his shoulders and turns to leave LOCCENT with Max padding at his heels. “Senior staff. My office. Twenty minutes. I need options.” He’s surprised at how confident and commanding he sounds.

The group gathered in the Marshal’s office is pitifully small: The Marshal himself, Choi, Geiszler, Gottlieb, and a handful of chief technicians. Choi clings to one of his ever-present mugs of coffee like it’s a life raft, more shaken than Herc has ever seen him. Geiszler occupies one of the few chairs in the room, bouncing his knees nervously. Gottlieb is pale and carefully watching his companion with his peripheral vision. The techs mill around nervously, looking everywhere but at each other.

Herc clears his throat to begin, but Gottlieb speaks before he can make a sound.

“Sir, Newton and I should not be present for this discussion. Whatever we hear, the kaiju will know.” Gottlieb’s voice is strong and steady, even though his grip on his cane has whitened his knuckles. 

Geiszler nods agreement without looking up and draws a shaky breath. “Otachi came looking for me. Just me. Tore into a shelter to get me. Killed a bunch of people in there. Before Gipsy….” He shakes his head violently, trying to clear the image from his mind. “The kaiju wanted more information about our defenses. I’m how they knew Pitfall was coming.” 

“I am connected as well,” Gottlieb continues. “Any information we possess from here forward will put everyone at risk.”

Choi recovers first. “But we need your help to figure out an attack!” he blurts. Herc is still trying to process what the scientists are saying. Geiszler explodes into hysterical laughter, jumping out of his seat, and rocking Herc back on his heels.

“You’re kidding! You just saw how well our last plan went!” His voice rises with each word until he’s screaming. “The only thing we got right is that the kaiju will get bigger and come faster! We’re useless!” He’s trembling so hard that everyone in the room can hear his teeth chatter. He quiets when Gottlieb puts a firm hand on his shoulder and pushes him back down into the chair. Gottlieb leaves his hand in place and the smaller man stills somewhat.

Herc rubs his face. “You look like you have something to say, Gottlieb. Spit it out.”

“Sir, you should transport us as far from populated areas as you can before the next kaiju make landfall. I am confident the kaiju will want to use us to gain further intelligence on the Resistance. One or more of the kaiju will pursue us, giving you more time to evacuate or mount a defense.”

Choi nearly drops his coffee. “That’s suicide.”

Gottlieb offers him a crooked smile and meets his incredulous stare evenly. “I prefer to think of it as hastening the inevitable.”

Bile rises in the back of Herc’s throat and he forces it back down. Gods, how many more of his colleagues will have to sacrifice themselves today? “Doctor Geiszler?”

“Hermann’s right. We need to go. Far. Fast.”

Herc nods even though the pressure in his chest threatens to crush him. “Take a chopper. Go.”

He meets Gottlieb’s eyes. Geiszler is fixedly studying his hands. Herc grants himself a small smile when Gottlieb nudges his colleague with his cane. Geiszler finally looks up. “Gentlemen. It’s been an honor.” Herc snaps a salute, which Gottlieb gravely returns. Geiszler just stares at him blankly until Gottlieb takes him by the arm and steers him out the door.

A few moments pass before Geiszler’s shout of “Dead men walking!” echoes back down the corridor.

Herc flinches.


	2. Geiszler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’re really going to do this. We’re going to ask the kaiju to mind-rape and then kill us.” If this was a movie and not his life, Newt would laugh. It’s that absurd.
> 
> Hermann stops and faces him. “That is not quite what I have in mind.”

The scientists walk down the empty and silent hallway toward the helipad.

“We’re really going to do this. We’re going to ask the kaiju to mind-rape and then kill us.” If this was a movie and not his life, Newt would laugh. It’s that absurd.

Hermann stops and faces him. “That is not quite what I have in mind.” He pulls a small orange bottle from the pocket of his oversized parka. “Five of these for each of us should deny the kaiju what they want.”

Newt reads and then rereads the pill bottle’s label. “Where … when did you get these? What were you …?”

The memory slams into Newt through the Drift hangover. It’s the night after the second failure to close the Breach. Hermann is alone in his room, slowly rolling that same orange bottle between his hands. He’s examining five white pills precisely arranged on the surface of his desk. There’s someone pounding on the door. Newt realizes that it’s himself offering to drag Hermann out to get epically drunk. Hermann sweeps the pills into a drawer and turns to open the door.

Newt comes back to himself and feels his knees give out under him. Hermann grabs him by the arm and hauls him upright. “You … you never said anything. Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Hermann looks away. “Newt. I have to say a goodbye. I’ll rejoin you in a moment.” He steps into an empty office a few steps further down the hall and sits down heavily in a chair, swinging the door closed. Newt slumps down the wall next to the door.

Vanessa, Newt thinks. Hermann’s got to tell Vanessa he’s going to die. That his daughter will never see her father. That the end of the world is coming.

He really should tell someone what’s about to happen. He pulls out his phone and is not surprised at all that the last day has rendered it very, very dead. Just like he’s going to be. Newt throws it against the wall and watches it shatter. He wasn’t sure who he would call anyway.

He gently bangs his head against the metal wall behind him and nearly drowns in a wave of Hermann’s love and fear. He can hear Vanessa, her voice choked with tears, saying “You shouldn’t have to be alone.”

“It’s all right, _herzchen_ ,” Hermann whispers. “Newton will be there with me.”

Newt jams his hands under his glasses and presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, hard. The left screams in pain. It’s almost enough to keep him from crying.


	3. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their targets have one hour to prepare.

Exactly as Hermann’s model predicts, the Breach vomits a pair of Category IV kaiju and a Category V Choi dubs Harbinger. Like Leatherback and Otachi before them, they move straight toward Hong Kong and the last of the Resistance. Their targets have one hour to prepare.

After 30 minutes, Harbinger alters course, moving away from the cities and toward a desolate spot.


	4. Gottlieb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thank you.” Hermann gently kisses Newt on the forehead as they wrap their arms around each other. “I am glad we are together now.”
> 
> “Me, too. Thanks. For everything.”

As the helicopter throbs away from Hong Kong, the two men huddle together. There’s none of the exhilaration of the last ride, when they thought they might save the world. Now there’s just bone-deep exhaustion.

Newton falls into fitful sleep with his head in Hermann’s lap. Hermann idly strokes his hair, knowing how much it comforts the other man. He studies his colleague, this brilliant, ridiculous, outrageous man who’s been in love with him for a decade. Hermann shakes his head sadly. Newton’s desire didn’t weaken through all the years. Or when they were stationed on opposite sides of the Pacific. Not even when he married Vanessa.

Images from the Drift are fragmentary, but the emotion behind them leaves Hermann gasping. Unconditional. Unwavering. Unrequited. Everything about Newton is volatile, very nearly out of control, except this. To hide … this … so well with arguments, insults, and avoidance…. Peers, colleagues, comrades in arms, best friends, yes, but not this. Hermann clearly doesn’t know the man nearly as well as he thought.

The helicopter lands. Newton mumbles something in his sleep. Hermann gives Newton’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “It’s time to go,” he says. Newton looks frightened, small, and younger than normal. He blinks behind his crooked glasses, swallows, nods, and extricates himself from Hermann. Is there really less than a year’s difference in their ages? How could Newton seem so young and Hermann feel so old?

As soon as the scientists scramble out, Hermann leaning heavily on Newton for the drop to the ground, the helicopters lifts and races back toward Hong Kong. They are alone.

They find a spot in the grass overlooking some beach. They sit quietly for a long while, shoulders touching, staring at the sea with a salty breeze in their hair. Hermann glances down at his watch. He notes the time and takes a deep breath. 

“Newt, it’s time.”

Hermann pulls the pill bottle and one of water from his pocket. He carefully counts out ten white discs and offers five to Newton. He downs his own with a large gulp of water. Newton follows suit.

“It will take about five minutes to take effect.”

Newton nods. Sighs. Twists his hands. Stares at the black water.

“Look, Hermann, I’ve wanted to say this for a long time now.” Newton takes a deep breath. “I….”

Hermann cuts him off. “I know.”

“Dude, you did not just try to Han Solo me.” For a moment, Newton’s mischievous smile returns.

“My apologies.” Hermann returns the smile.

“I love you. I wanted to say it to your face at least once.”

“Thank you.” Hermann gently kisses Newt on the forehead as they wrap their arms around each other. “I am glad we are together now.”

“Me, too. Thanks. For everything.” Newt blinks slowly, then closes his eyes for the last time.

Hermann holds him until his breathing stills and waits for sleep to come for him, too.

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant as a series of ficlets about the main survivors (minus Raleigh, who I planned to kill--and still did) dealing with a failed Operation Pitfall. Then Hermann opened his big mouth and my two favorite idiots took the whole thing over. And broke my cold, black heart while they were at it.
> 
> The title is a line from today’s recommended listening: The Black Angels, _Passover_ , Track 1, “Young Men Dead”.


End file.
